Style Invitational Week 1179: Blasted alphabetical contests ... Give us an ABC phrase Plus ‘Dvork,’ ‘purranha’ and more winning 13-Scrabble-point neologisms Cute Animals Barfing: Not quite the most popular video genre out there, but a good example for our ABC-phrase (or permutations) contest. (Bob Staake for The Washington Post) By Pat Myers Entertainment June 9 *Cute Animals Barfing: Less popular videos circulating on Facebook* *“Beware: Congress Appropriating”: New hazard signs at the Capitol* *Annual Bowel Contraction: Medical measurement for the tragically constipated* This week’s contest is the “brain”-child of Loser Jeff Shirley, who noted that while the Invitational has run contests to compare two real entities with the same three-letter abbreviation, we don’t seem to have run this variation: *This week: Coin a three-word phrase whose words begin with A, B and C — in any order — and describe it,* as in Jeff’s examples above. It may be an actual phrase or name if you describe it with breathtaking wit. Yes, YOU could win an electronic bubble fart machine that Chris Doyle (not pictured) didn't want! This week’s second prize. (Pat Myers/The Washington Post ) *NEW: No more emailing entries! Instead, submit them at this website: subpl.at/INVITE1179 . * Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial , the Lincoln statue bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a prize that was inexplicably declined by Chris Doyle in 2014: It’sBubble Geezer, a battery-powered machine in which a plastic grandpa blows bubbles from his exposed keister. Well, maybe it’s a wee bit explicable: Chris, the Invite’s highest-scoring Loser, has been a winner or runner-up /two hundred eleven times./ Still, he has won only one electronic fart sculpture. I think. *Other runners-up* win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug, the older-model “This Is Your Brain on Mugs” mug or a vintage Loser T-shirt. Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “Magnet Dum Laude” or “Falling Jest Short.” First Offenders receive a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, June 20; results published July 10 (online July 7). You may submit up to 25 entries per contest. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules . YUX in the headline for this week’s results was submitted by both Tom Witte and Jeff Contompasis; the honorable-mentions subhead is by Chris Doyle. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev ./ “Like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at /bit.ly/inkofday; / follow @StyleInvite on Twitter. *The Style Conversational *The Empress is hanging out at the West Chester Poetry Conference in Pennsylvania this weekend, tossing in her two cents (U.S.) at a workshop on light verse and song parodies, so no online column this week. REPORT FROM WEEK 1175: *YUX: THE 13-SCRABBLE-POINT NEOLOGISMS FROM WEEK 1175* In Week 1175 we asked you to create new words whose Scrabble letter values add up to 13 (without blanks, bingos, etc.) and that weren’t in an actual Scrabble dictionary. The Empress gives a letter of distinction — his choice of Q or Z — to Loser Todd DeLap, who ran her short­list of words through a validator he’d constructed, flagging “pepcoed” (14 points) and “snafusion,” which is a TWELVER. Hey, whoever wrote those neologisms, you might as well save them; we could do this contest again with any number. 4th place *DVORK:* Your friend who can name the composer of every symphony. (Amanda Yanovitch, Midlothian, Va.) 3rd place *LOOCIFER:* The person who didn’t replace the toilet paper roll. (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.) 2nd place and the I Said No talking pen: *GODSPLAIN:* If logic won’t do, perhaps there’s a biblical passage you can quote out of context. (Frank Mann, Washington) And the winner of the Inkin’ Memorial: *DCAYED: *Having served in federal office too long. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.) Double nerd scores: honorable mentions *RETWERPS:* People who lack the courage to say things for themselves. (George-Ann Rosenberg, Washington) *TELLUBRIDE: *Least popular ski resort for bachelor parties. (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.) *CATULENCE:* Gas produced by Fluffy sleeping on the bed. Yeah, it was definitely Fluffy. (Sarah Jay, Churchville, Md.) *BATHEIST:* Someone who believes in cleanliness but not godliness. (Jeff Shirley) *ADOLLTERY: *Cheating on your inflatable girlfriend. (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.) *BIMBROS: *Surfer dudes. (Lee Graham, Arlington, Va.) *CARNIBORE:* A proselytizer for the Paleo Diet. (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.) *PESTATARIAN:* Someone who tells you constantly why his new diet is the best ever and insists that you switch immediately from that lethal trash you’ve been ingesting. (Roy Ashley, Washington) *DAYLUGES:* A series of aquatic events held continually last month throughout the D.C. area. (Joy Gawen, Falls Church, Va., a First Offender) *BAGOBITS: *The modern-day airplane snack. (Kimberly Baer, Woodbridge, Va.) *RHINOSTONE:* Fancy term for a booger. (Kevin Dopart) *MEOUCH:* A scar from when you rub your cat the wrong way. My husband has a large meouch on his arm from our brown tabby, recently renamed Zorro. (Kate Sternberg, Reston, Va., who got her only other blot of Invite ink in 2005) *PURRANHA:* A seemingly innocent kitty that attacks without warning. (Jeff Shirley) *CADULLAC:* A Buick. (Kevin Dopart, Washington) *BIDDAY:* An eBay auction for bathroom fixtures. (Pete Kinsella, Glen Allen, Va., a First Offender) *AUTOSOMNIAL:* So boring you put even yourself to sleep. (Christopher Lamora, Arlington, Va.) *FARTESIANS:* Their model is “I stink; therefore I am.” (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines) *FOPAW: * A type of shoe worn by politicians to cover their tracks. (Jon Gearhart) *MAWDUST:* Orange powder that collects on your lips when you’re munching Cheetos. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.) *IMPALEGO:* A painful condition occurring on the soles of the feet. Afflicts primarily parents of young children. (Hildy Zampella, Falls Church, Va.) *GREENCH:* Whoever installed the ultra-low-flush toilets at work. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.) *KENITALIA:* Barbie’s boyfriend is now anatomically correct! (Chris Doyle) *HILLARIOUS:* Describes a joke that isn’t funny, even though the jokester tries very, very hard to make it so. (Duncan Stevens) *HILLBERN: *A left-handed driver who unintentionally drives the car off a cliff. (Amy Harris, Charlottesville, Va.) *HILLYRE:* A somewhat screechy instrument prone to playing false notes; produces an inexplicable twang in southern climes. (Bill LeWarne, Darnestown, Md., who got HIS only other blot of ink in Week 104 — 21 years ago) *TRUMPTEEN:* Yuge in number. “He’s taken trumpteen different positions on that issue in the past month.” (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.) *DOODOODLES:* Those poop emoji. (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.) *HASHTAT: *A permanent memento of your favorite tweet. (Lee Graham) *MOMPETE:* To engage in one-upmanship over who has the more outstanding offspring. “Emily’s son is selling lemonade to raise money for orphaned illiterate puppies. How do I mompete with that?” (Hildy Zampella) *MORTGAUGE:* An instrument for measuring how far underwater you are. (Jesse Frankovich) *THERMOSS:* Fuzzy growth that covers the inside of the bottle your kid left in her locker since April. (Jeff Contompasis) *VOLUPTUA: *Roman goddess of the hourglass. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park, Md.) *ZERT:* A dieter’s no-calorie treat substitute. “No, thanks, on that chocolate cake; I’m planning to enjoy a little mint-waxed floss for my zert.” (Danielle Nowlin) *GASSAULTING:* Letting one fly in the elevator. (George-Ann Rosenberg) *ANUSTHESIA:* Preparation H. (Chris Doyle) *TRIKK: *To cheat at Scrabble by using more of a certain tile than are in a regulation set. (Jeff Contompasis) *TWELVER:* A word that wouldn’t qualify for this contest. (Jesse Frankovich) *SCATOLERANT: *What the Empress of The Style Invitational has to be. (Duncan Stevens) *TWO contests still running — deadline for both is Monday night, June 13: for political song parodies (see bit.ly/invite1177 ) and for new collective nouns (bit.ly/invite1178 ). * And remember — don’t email your entries! Use these links to send them. (Copy them into the form in case something goes wrong; to make the entry area on the form bigger, click on the little triangle on lower right corner of the box and drag it down.) The form for Week 1179: subpl.at/INVITE1179 For Week 1178: subpl.at/INVITE1178 For Week 1177: subpl.at/INVITE1177 Sensing a pattern here, folks?